A lot of people suffer from identity crisis due to the many transitions that have occurred in their lives especially during childhood. The pain we experience in life is never meant to be wasted. We should learn from it and grow from it. We should help others as a result of the lessons from it. As authors, although we have to be responsible and careful in how we use this pain, one thing we CANNOT DO is hide it.
I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Rakisha Sloane, one of our newest authors. Dr. Rakisha has written a thought-provoking book entitled, Unspoken Conversations – An Inner Dialogue to Self-Discovery and Freedom from Relational Abuse. The book is launching on June 9, 2018. I highly recommend that you read these few excerpts from it and be encouraged to find out more.
Throughout our lives, we experience various types of “alternations,” or “rotations.” These changes usually occur during different time frames or, as I like to call them, life seasons. When we go through seasonal changes, (for example, moving from fall to winter), we don’t continue wearing summer clothes (unless it’s a favorite shirt). When seasons change, we also change, and for this reason, we need to recognize when there has been a seasonal change. For me, I was greatly affected, because I was not aware of my personal seasons, let alone when they were changing.
In my early childhood, I began forming walls to protect myself from external dangers. These walls manifested into inner conversations. Although they were designed to protect me, the conversations were one-directional and catered to preserving my pain in the absence of delivering truth. The monologues that began at a young age followed me into my young adult years. For years, I waited for my voice to give me the assurance that could only come from God. Each life season of change birthed an inner conversation that allowed me to move forward; however, I was still left with many unanswered questions.
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a situation and wondered how in the world you got there? Or where was the help when you needed it?
I have had many times where help seemed too far away to reach or lay hold of. Throughout my twenties, I believed the direction I was going in was secure, and I thought I had a solid understanding of who I was. However, I began to realize that this path had slowly placed me on an intricate path of self-discovery and knowing God. I want to show you how self-awareness became a focal point for how I developed a healthy sense of being and a personal relationship with God.
Dr. Rakisha later writes…
As a child, you are supposed to be nurtured by two loving parents. The absence of this love from either one of your parents can have many consequences. The absence of love from your birth father creates what we call a “father wound,” which can occur even if your father was at home while you were growing up. The wound can be caused by neglect (not having your emotional and physical needs met), divorce, separation, death, abuse, control, and withholding love and affection. My father wounds occurred primarily because of my parents’ divorce and the absence of affirmation from my father as a teen. I received them as a young girl, but from about the time I entered the 7th grade on, I do not recall any affection from my father. Without hearing “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” from my father as a teenage girl, I found myself vulnerable and withdrawn at times and I did not feel much protection.
During this year of separation, there were several things that happened, both good and bad. I was now going to high school in Chicago. I actually had to take the bus to get there (this was not a neighborhood high school), and not a yellow school bus – I had to take public transportation. A good thing for me was that the school that I chose was the same one that my neighbor went to, so I was able to go with her and she showed me the ropes. I met a lot of people at school, even though I was new. I also had a few cousins who went there as well.
The first quarter, I got really good grades. I wanted to try out for the softball team and my grandma would not let me, because I would be coming home late by myself. I did not do any extra-curricular activities as a freshman, or at any other time while in high school. I also remember that at the school’s attendance assembly (you were invited if you had perfect attendance), I won a framed Michael Jordan poster. I had to go up on the stage to receive it and I was wearing a Detroit Piston’s championship t-shirt. It was hilarious. The emcee joked with me about taking the poster back (she didn’t). After that everyone knew me as the “Detroit Girl.”
I was adjusting to being in high school, and dealing with the fact that my mom and brother were still in Michigan. Things were going well, until one afternoon when I came home from school, my cousin was over at my grandma’s house. We were talking in the kitchen, and then he told me to come in the front room to watch television.
I followed him to the living room, and in a moments’ time he pushed me onto the couch…
To find out more about this book or Dr. Rakisha please visit her book launch website at
As always, let’s have some dialogue in the comment section below regarding this blog and your writing ventures. Finally, let’s not forget to support each other in our endeavors to be successful authors.
Happy Publishing!
~ Pastor Kish
Your Book Publishing Coach & Self-Publishing Servicer